Bully or the Bullied:
There is hope in telling the truth about yourself
Bullying happens across so many boundaries – gay, straight; rich, poor; children, adults; male and female. Often, though, it happens for two reasons.
The first is the one in distress doesn’t know how to stand up to aggression, or feels no one will listen if they tell, and suffers in silence.
The second is the intimidator has been hurt so deeply from being tormented or oppressed that the hurt turns to either rage or indifference that is, in turn, taken out on someone smaller and weaker.
If you are someone who teases, baits or torments others, it has to stop. Now. Behind that false sense of entitlement or erroneous right to dominate is a desire for closeness; what you are achieving by your behavior is isolation. Find someone you can trust. Step out and be honestly courageous. Tell someone about your separation. Begin to discovery ways to use your gifts for the positive influence they can make.
If you are one who is in distress from being bullied, you must, however difficult, find someone to tell. You must not let your misery build until you explode. You must not let your anguish sink down deep until you implode. You are loved, unique and exquisite. You have it in you to change two human lives – yours and someone else’s. Do not let that opportunity go to waste. Hold on to hope. Hold on to someone who understands what you are going through. Because there is someone else out there who feels what you feel. You know who it is. Reach out.
We as bystanders can do three things:
- We can stop being bystanders. We can stand up when we see bullying happen. We can get involved.
- We can start to open our eyes and notice who the bullied are. We can include them, even if at first they refuse. We can be sure they are no longer isolated.
- We can speak into the lives of those who bully. We can stop accusing and start embracing. We can change their lives, too.
Nick Vujicic (pronounced voy-a-chich). If you haven’t heard of him, you’ll want to. He is a most amazing man.
If you or I think we were bullied, imagine what Nick went through.
Nick says, “When the world says you’re not good enough, get a second opinion!”