Tag Archives: depression

Why I Write About Manic Depression

Last October I wrote for the first time about having bipolar 2 brain disease, otherwise known as manic depression. Writing about this has become more and more important to me. Why? For three reasons: The older I get the more changes I see in the symptoms and cycles of the illness and how it affects […]

Forgiving My Father

My father had bipolar disease. How do I know? I know because I have bipolar. My father was never diagnosed with manic depression; he was born in 1911 and died in 1982 and at his death had been disabled for about four years from several previous heart attacks and strokes and adult onset diabetes. Growing […]

The Social Cycles of Bipolar and Faith

I wrote this as a Guest Post on Tony Robert’s blog, Delight in Disorder: Divine delight in a disordered world. As I look back on the cycles of bipolar that have tried to steal my life away from me, I am acutely aware of both overt and covert cycles associated with this illness. The overt […]

A Fearless Moral Inventory, Part 2

My moral indiscretions are countless. Before I was diagnosed with bipolar 2, during the hypomania cycles the decisions I made were reckless. I stumbled often; my choices were folly at best, dangerous at worst. I used drugs, promiscuously engaged in unprotected sex, stole clothing from boutique apparel stores, and for over a year dated a […]

Living in Threes

“No amount of love can cure madness or unblacken one’s dark moods.  Love can help, it can make the pain more bearable, but always one is beholden to medication that may or may not always work and may or may not be bearable.  Madness, on the other hand, most certainly can, and often does kill […]

Thorns

I am a woman who reached out to touch the robe of Jesus, but in the surge of the crowd, was swept back, and my fingertips fell short. (Luke 8:44-48) Perhaps that’s why I so easily recognize shame, am so sensitive to grace, am so willing to offer compassion. Because I am left with a […]

A Few Good Friends

I am lucky to find myself late in life with a few good friends with whom I can be completely transparent, completely myself. I am accepted by them not in spite of my weakness, but loved because the weakness is part of my whole; it makes me who I am, and I am seen by […]

Ten Year Anniversary

This month marks ten years since I chose to follow Christ. Ten years since I walked into the embrace of my Father’s arms. Ten years since I have learned to listen to the Spirit abiding inside me. And almost 15 years since I was diagnosed with bipolar II (2). Faith is my invisible source of […]

Clarity in Him

As I awaken to the rain, I feel the chill of the air outside. I always leave a window open in my bedroom in order to breathe fresh air overnight. The combination of drizzle and fog creates a heavy haze which hangs over the morning and my heart. I know I shouldn’t, but I listen […]

Holidays can be Lonely

When you suffer from bipolar or depression, holidays can be lonely. Even if you have family and friends, it can be isolating. Somehow, the joy others feel, the whimsy of decorations and the business of gift buying and wrapping can make us feel separate, off balance and uncertain about our place in it all. I […]