Tag Archives: shame

Sea Walls

“We all build internal sea walls to keep at bay the sadnesses (sic) of life and the often overwhelming forces within our minds. We build these wall stone by stone over a lifetime. One of the most difficult problems is to construct these barriers of such a height and strength that one has a true […]

Why I Write About Manic Depression

Last October I wrote for the first time about having bipolar 2 brain disease, otherwise known as manic depression. Writing about this has become more and more important to me. Why? For three reasons: The older I get the more changes I see in the symptoms and cycles of the illness and how it affects […]

A Fearless Moral Inventory, Part 2

My moral indiscretions are countless. Before I was diagnosed with bipolar 2, during the hypomania cycles the decisions I made were reckless. I stumbled often; my choices were folly at best, dangerous at worst. I used drugs, promiscuously engaged in unprotected sex, stole clothing from boutique apparel stores, and for over a year dated a […]

Thorns

I am a woman who reached out to touch the robe of Jesus, but in the surge of the crowd, was swept back, and my fingertips fell short. (Luke 8:44-48) Perhaps that’s why I so easily recognize shame, am so sensitive to grace, am so willing to offer compassion. Because I am left with a […]

Walk by Faith, Not by Fear

“Two men went to the temple to pray.” “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.” […]

Heart Condition

Hanging On vs. Letting Go I’ve read so many blogs from people hanging onto Hurt, anger, grief, shame, control, Not being able to get past it all Clutching the pain like a redolent bouquet of helium balloons. If we let it go, it would fly Up and away Where it needs to be But we […]

Heart Condition

A Spiritual Battle in Hindsight Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 It is remarkable what hindsight and an abundance of faith does for the perspective of a believer. Two weeks ago, I was in a spiritual battle. While in it, […]

Class of We Made It

Why Should I Kill Myself? Why should I kill myself When you are doing such a good job of it? With your inauthentic, “pray for God’s will” When what you really mean is, “Get over yourself You really aren’t worth the miracle you’re praying for.”   Why should I kill myself When you are doing […]